Basically Blissful

As you know, as of Tuesday night things were going very well with Nathan. I saw him again last night at Blues and then we went to Sonic again for food/drinks, then went to his house, which I hadn't seen yet. I got to meet his brother and his other roommate which was nice because I felt like I was getting to know a little bit more of his world. We had a really good conversation about where we want our relationship to go, which at this point is just to a casual dating situation where we're seeing each other but also seeing other people which feels like a really good place to be. I love how willing he is to talk about his feelings and how conscious he is of mine; there are so many guys who would shy away from any kind of discussion about feelings, taking the easy way out of just letting the chips fall where they may without caring about the emotional consequences. Anyway, enough gush about Nathan. Suffice it to say, I'm still blissed out just having him in my life.

In other news, we had our family Christmas party last night with the whole extended family on my mom's side. I'm always shocked at how fast the little ones grow up, even in just 1 year. The Swensons are loud and slightly invasive but we all love each other more than anything in the world and our parties are nothing but good food and lots of lovin'! It's pretty fabulous.

Well, I'm off to enjoy the beautiful sunny morning! Merry almost Christmas!!!

Smashing Success

So last night I had my house warming party and I was so happy that people actually came! It was funny, I invited a bunch of people, including girls, but only 1 girl came (the beautiful Linsey) and all the rest were boys: my brother, my cousin and his roommate, Linsey's friend Greg, Blues Guy (ok, I might as well tell you his name. It's Nathan.) and my friend Kurt (who I went on a date with on Monday night--super fun.) I had scrubbed my whole kitchen and the bathroom, so I was feeling pretty good about having everyone in my new clean space, and I had cookies and hot chocolate spread out on the kitchen table. I felt like quite the little homemaker haha, especially because I've never thrown a party all by myself before!

Everyone loved the house and we just sat around laughing and talking for about 2 hours until Kurt had to leave, and then almost everyone else left too. Everyone... except Nathan. We ended up watching a movie, and we cuddled for maybe the last hour, which felt very comfortable and nice. As the credits were rolling, I could tell he wanted to kiss me but that he was having some kind of internal conflict about it. I got him to talk to me about it and we decided that nothing was official or serious, but that we definitely liked each other and were willing to see where things went. And then...he kissed me :) Can I just tell you, it was bliss. I realized that it's been over 2 years since I've kissed someone for the first time, and I was a little nervous because I'd gotten so used to the way I kissed people I'd known/been kissing for a long time, but he told me I was doing just fine :) He was the perfect mix between sweet/tender, passionate, yet respectful; he was such a gentleman. 

We just giggled and sighed our way through the next couple hours until it was way too late and I knew I'd be dead at work in the morning if I didn't go to bed right then. So we had a lovely long hug at the door and he kissed me very sweetly goodnight. I'm lucky I slept at all, I was so full of giddy butterflies, but I did manage to sleep and I have been on Cloud 9 all morning! It just felt so good to finally be close to someone. It has been such an unbelievably long time!

This song pretty much sums up my mood for today:

Brand Spankin' New!

So....guess what? I'm all moved into my new house!! I spent yesterday afternoon on my hands and knees scrubbing and getting to know my wood floor and doing a smidge of decorating. The day was sunny and my room has two big windows so I just soaked in the sunlight while I worked and listened to rockin' music. It was a pretty great afternoon. Then I went to the Nutcracker with my sister and her daughter who is 9, so for her it was just magical, which made it magical for us too.

I finished moving today with the help of Blues Guy (from last post) and let me tell you, he just gets better and better :) He was so nice to offer to help me finish moving and do all the big manly lifting for me. He came from church so he was wearing his nice clothes, which included a vest and some very well-cut pants--umm yes. So attractive. We got to sit on the couch and just talk for a good long while in the afternoon, and it was so nice to be still and just be together. In the spirit of keeping you posted, you should know that he has been officially invited to my house warming party on Tuesday, so if he actually comes then he'll meet most of my good friends here in Provo and they'll be able to give him the once-over. Obviously things are going well, and I sincerely hope they continue to do so.

You are joining me now with my first cup of strawberry/vanilla tea in my new room, which has been mostly unpacked, with Norah Jones playing softly and a very tired but contented Kimber. Welcome home :)

For the First Time in a Long Time

I'm a little bit twitterpated :) Last night, I met a guy at Blues. Said guy was very flirtatious and funny and wasn't afraid to break the touch barrier even when we weren't dancing. He stayed with me most of the time at Blues, just talking and laughing, then he offered me a ride home,which included a quick stop at Sonic for drinks since we had both danced pretty hard. The 'quick stop' turned into about at hour just sitting in the car laughing so hard we almost cried, talking about what causes brain freezes, our families, school, and other random things. One of the random things we talked at length about was the fact that he looks like this guy: 

For those of you who don't know, this is James Frain. You might know him from The Count of Monte Cristo or the TV show The Cape. Obviously, he is beautiful, in a kind of different way, which I really like. So yeah, Blues Guy is not a bad lookin' fellow. After the hour spent finding out we have a TON in common, we reluctantly took me home and had a very nice hug goodnight. He has my number, so we'll see what else happens :) 

I honestly can't remember the last time I met a guy and we just hit it off so well that on our first night together everything just clicked and felt so easy. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to when I'm smiling so much! Needless to say, I'll keep you posted. 

P.S. I'm taking my last final in 3 hours. AHHHH!!

Job: Check

Remember when I said I was thinking about applying to be a model for the BYU art department? Well, I pursued the idea, had an interview this morning, and I got the job! The hours are kind of sporadic, but it's worth it to be doing something so cool. I've been giddy about it all day :)

Finals are upon me, but shouldn't be too terrible. I'm moving in 4 days and once I've sold my own contract, all my stress will be gone! The parents will be here next week, I'm going to the Nutcracker this Saturday with my sister and her daughter, and it feels like real snow is just around the corner. Oh Christmas time...

Life is just sunny and contented over here, glad you stopped in to check :)

An Observation

This is something else I wrote for my creative writing class. I was watching someone smoke a few weeks ago and lines of this kept coming into my head so when I got home I wrote it out. I hate smoking more than almost anything, but for some reason it is captivating to me. That being said, here you go, cool picture and all.

Your lips close, in an almost caress, around the cigarette. You look down as you inhale, the veins in your neck straining. Your hand drops. You are still, just for an instant, as you hold the poison in your mouth. Your eyes, already half closed, drift all the way shut, a smile of what seems like relief playing at the corners of your lips. Your head tips back, lolling, broken, and your mouth opens.

Thick, opaque smoke coils in the opening, then twists up into the frigid air. The designs it traces are seductive, soft, elusive. Your jaw hangs slack. You hardly seem to breathe. Then your mouth closes and the last trails of smoke steam out of your nose.

In this moment, with the white cloud of toxic mist swirling around your languid torso, you have never been more beautiful. 

A Poem

First Kiss

The hanging moment

Just before

Two worlds collide.

Where breath mingles,

Blood and milk

Swirling,

Melding

In the void between.

Foreheads whisper,

Fingertips trace,

Discover

The subtle contours

Not yet traversed.

One final

Inhale,

Close the distance.

Know.