Yup, I'm a Model

I love it when people ask me what I do for work these days. I get to say, "Oh, I'm a model for the art department," with the best coy intonation I can muster. This is usually followed by a "Wow!" accompanied by slightly skeptical raised eyebrows. I then explain that, no I am not nude, I wear a bikini, yes it's awkward at times, yes it's a lot harder than it looks, yes it's the most interesting experience I've ever had. And yes, I love it.

Needless to say, my first week of work went very well. Strangely enough, my very first day was my favorite. I had been nervous for the whole 24 hours before, worrying that I would run out of ideas for poses, that the whole class would take one look at me and know I'd never done this before, that my belly would hang out funny, that I would faint...oh, the imagined horrors were endless. But I arrived early and invigorated nonetheless, and was further encouraged by the teacher, a young, tall, handsome Asian guy who I thought was a student when he first started talking to me. He was so eager to make sure I was comfortable and really treated me like a person rather than a prop, as the other two teachers did who I worked with later in the week. There were 2 models for that class, and it was her first day too, which made me feel a lot less self-conscious. The class was very friendly and respectful, and they had obviously had some experience with figure drawing before, so the drawings were pretty realistic. As I walked around during the breaks to look at their work, I was fascinated to see myself materialized on the giant pages, each one showing little a different perspective and interpretation. I noticed about halfway through the sustained pose that the teacher was on my side of the room, drawing me. I saw a lot of the students looking at it during the breaks, observing his technique and looking back at their own sketches with looks of dejection, but I wanted to wait until the end to see it. When the end finally came, I went over to the easel and saw this: (I apologize for the terrible quality, but you get the idea)

I was struck dumb. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was!! I asked the teacher if there was any way he'd let me have his drawing, and he looked at me like he couldn't understand why I'd want it, but said I was more than welcome to take it. I feel so lucky to have such a beautiful souvenir from my first day as a model. It is so incredible to be part of the creative process in this way, especially since I can't draw at all myself. 

Sorry for the terribly long post, but I thought you'd like knowing how awesome my new job is. In case you can't tell, I'm pretty dang stoked. Wish me luck this week! 

Breakthrough

I think this is the lesson the universe was trying to teach me for the past two years of my life that have been so lonely. A while ago, I told you about my Peace Garden, where I started learning how to love myself and to let go of the negativity I was getting from other people, and consequently feeding to myself. I have felt so powerless in bringing good relationships into my life and keeping them; I've felt cursed and betrayed by my own desires for closeness and the feeling of being well-liked. But...

....I've had a breakthrough!! This weekend I got asked on 3 dates within 24 hours. Nothing even remotely close to that has EVER happened to me before. I don't know if it was the shift of moving, or just a shift in my energy, but suddenly the guys are breaking down my door. If I'd told myself even a month ago that this would be happening, I never would have believed it. I've already been on 2 of the dates and the other one is on Wednesday, and so far they've been wonderful! Just tonight I got taken to a lovely Japanese restaurant and then to the Nickel-Cade--probably one of the best dates I've been on in the last year (not that there were many to compare it to). 

I have to say, I think I have Nathan to thank for my breakthrough. We had an instant connection, he wasn't afraid to express his immediate interest in me, he wasn't intimidated by my responding interest, he made me feel beautiful and desirable, and he expected nothing. I think I needed that kind of positive reinforcement to break down my remaining walls so that all these other guys would finally see me, right there in front of them, waiting to be noticed. And it freaking worked!! The message from the universe finally came through and I finally stand out in the crowd. 

I just had to share how good I'm feeling :) I hope you're feeling just as awesome. 

Actually Pumped About School!

As strange as it sounds, I'm actually really excited about the coming semester having now gone to almost all my classes (my Geology teacher is still on his way back from Antarctica so class starts Monday) and scoped out all the cute boys ;) I'll probably tell you more about each of my classes as exciting things happen in them.

But I have to tell you, the class I'm most excited about is an outdoor adventure non-fiction creative writing class I signed up for by accident! Long story short, I thought I had just signed up for the regular non-fiction creative writing class, and had heard about the one where you got to go backpacking and stuff but could never find it in the registry, so I'd given up. But come to find out, they had messed up the registry and I had accidentally signed up for the outdoor class anyway! So, I get to take a 3 day trip to the Uinta mountains where we cross country ski into the valley, stay in yurts (big walled tents), and build snow caves. We also have day trips of cross country skiing, snow showing, and outdoor cooking. And that's all just a bonus to the creative writing class. SO COOL!! Right? Oh man, I can't wait. Oh, and bonus, there's an extremely attractive guy in my class whose name is....get this: Hawkin Vance. Can you even think of a hotter name? I submit that you cannot. Let's just say, I'm excited to get to know this Hawkin guy.

Well, that's pretty much it from my happy corner of Provo. Speaking of Provo, it finally snowed today. Still not sure how I feel about it. But it's pretty, so I guess I'll take it.

Finally Back in Action!

My apologies to anyone, besides me, who cares that I was MIA almost all of break. Here are 10 things that either happened over break or that are just tumbling around in my head:
1) I LOVE my new house! I just can't get over how different and wonderful it is to be here and not in my old apartment. There are adjustments, for sure, but in the grander scheme, it couldn't be better.
2) I got sicker than I can remember ever being, on Christmas Day no less, and I got to be the recipient of such tender love from my brother and my mom in particular as my sweet family took care of me. As my sister put it, "You puked out all your brains, so then you had to re-grow them." Yup, it pretty much went exactly like that. After I was done throwing up I spent the next 3 days in and out of consciousness.
3) I love where my relationship is with Nathan. For the first time, I'm not worrying myself sick about where things are going or what he's thinking or why we're not officially dating. I'm completely at ease and just happy to have him in my life, however he's meant to be there.
4) My bikini for my new modeling job came in the mail today!! It's a simple black little number, nothing fancy, but I actually look/feel good in it (something I was a little nervous about.) I can't wait to start working!
5) Nathan lent me a book called The Maze Runner over break, which I finished the other day, happy to have read an actual book! It feels like it's been forever since I've done that. I can't wait to read the 2nd one.
6) I started reading Eat, Pray, Love yesterday. I read it once a few years ago, but it feels like I'm reading it for the first time. I think I was too young when I read it before and now it's way more applicable to what's happening in my life. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. I find myself constantly wanting to call someone to read them whole passages, it's so well written.
7) As I've looked back at the last year, I've seen that it was an amazing year of personal growth. I feel like I finally came into myself as an independent, grounded woman. As strange as it sounds, cutting my hair was a huge part of that process, as well as having my financially independent summer. There were times when I was unbearably lonely, but I also have made some of my dearest friends in the last year. I don't know this new Kimber very well yet, but I like her a lot so far :)
8) Tomorrow is the first day of school, and even though break wasn't nearly long enough, I'm actually really looking forward to this semester. I'm taking a creative non-fiction writing class that I'm stoked about, and I'm also in the next level of Contemporary dance, which makes me very happy.
9) We (as in the 3 of us new girls in the house) met our male next door neighbors last night and hung out with one of them again today. It seems like our two houses will get along quite nicely.
10) Lastly, I love my new roommates, particularly the other 2 new girls. The 3 of us have been hanging out since they got here yesterday and I foresee us becoming fast friends :) I love finally living with girls who are like me. How different that will be!

Well, I have to get up early for school tomorrow, so sweet dreams :)