A Super Belated Birthday Post

I realized I never blogged about my birthday!! That whole month was such a whirlwind (hence, I only blogged once, for Mother's Day) that it didn't even occur to me. But let's fix that...a month late.

My actual birthday was not exactly orthodox, but it was definitely packed and productive. I woke up at 6:30am, which might I point out was the earliest I think I'd woken up all year, and caught the 7:50am train to Salt Lake, where my sister took me around to all the businesses around her house and I handed out resumes like free candy. I was so needing a full time job and wasn't finding one in Provo, so if I found one in Salt Lake, I would take it. (And as we know, those efforts were rewarded with an awesome job!) At 11 I caught a ride back to Provo to do my daily babysitting for the cutest little boy, Henry, who I'd been watching since January for a couple hours a day. Once Henry was gone, I ran to the store to get ingredients for dinner, came home and cooked with my roommate Amy to make a gorgeous birthday feast. We both showered and got ready for the evening and received our dinner guests: Aldo, his girlfriend and my good friend Kristin, and my brother Jared. We enjoyed a lovely omelette, mashed potatoes, green beans, with lemonade and Amy's masterpiece of a triple chocolate cheesecake! It was simply amazing. Then we all went dancing at our local blues/west coast venue and tore up the night.

The following Saturday was my actual party, which was at Keys on Main in Salt Lake, the dueling piano bar. If you haven't been there, you really should go! Those guys were so incredibly talented; the show was engaging from the time they started til well past midnight, it was amazing. Since it was my 21st birthday, it was my first time in a bar and it felt so good to finally be old enough to go out with all my older friends! Also, it being my birthday, the performers got to pull me up on stage and sing a very inappropriate, yet hilarious song to me, much to my friends' delight and my embarrassment. It was fun to sit on the pianos and show off my pretty dress though! My friend Glenn snapped these for me:

So there you have it, the birthday update! It was seriously one of the best birthdays I've ever had. It's so great to be officially an adult and on my way to big, exciting, adult things :)

I Live a Beautiful Life

I feel like everyone comes to this conclusion several times throughout life: My life is beautiful. I am so incredibly, unfathomably blessed. How can I complain about anything at all when there is such abundant, exquisite experience being had at every turn? That's how I feel today. Sure, there are struggles and minor set backs in my plans from day to day, from week to week, but in the grand scheme of things, everything is turning out exactly right and God is unrolling such a spectacular vista before me that I can't see the edges.

I am so thankful for my job, that it's interesting, pays well, is close to my house, and will serve me in a variety of ways for the rest of my life. I am thankful for my sweet sister who is letting me live with her for the remainder of the summer, at a more than fair price, and who is always willing to do whatever she can to support my social life. I am thankful for my bike, for the buses and trains, and for generous friends who help me get around to my various activities. I am thankful for the sunshine, for good books, and the freedom to enjoy them, to get lost in another world for a little while every day.

In essence, I'm just really happy to be alive and well with plans moving forward for Italy. Happy freaking Friday!!

For My Papa

(Sorry this is a few days late)

This is the only picture I could find with my dad in it, he's always the one behind the camera!

Of course, everyone says they have the best dad in the world, and mine is no exception! My dad married my beautiful mother (who we celebrated last month) and together they have raised 7 amazing children. Not only do we get our handsome genes from him, but we also were lucky enough to inherit his goofyness, his willingness to work hard, his fearless attitude toward big dreams, and his awesome people skills. From the time I was little, my dad has always been the biggest supporter of my dreams; he will do everything in his power to make sure that I am living my full potential and getting the best help available, no matter what it is. I always think of him when I give a presentation or go into a job interview, knowing his example is what gave me the ability to speak and present myself well. I value his guidance and his advice so much, and I know he loves me more than anything in his world. I am so lucky!! 

Happy belated Father's Day, Papa! You have my whole heart :)

--your special

Lots of BIG NEWS!

Okay, I know I was more absent in May than usual, but I promise I had a good reason: I was making big, life-rocking plans that I finally get to make public!

Recognize this view?

 

In case you don't, that's Florence, Italy. And....guess what? I'm moving there in September!! AHHHHH!!! I've seriously been internally (and sometimes externally) screaming about this for almost 2 months now! I'm so unbelievably excited. So why Florence you ask? Well, let me tell you the story. 

As you may or may not know, I've been working as a figure model for the last year and a half. I started working at BYU and then started working for a private studio as well last February. (Just to clarify, a figure model is one that poses for anywhere from 30 seconds to 20 minutes at a time for a class of art students who are learning the fundamentals of figure drawing.) It has been one of the most fulfilling, horizon-expanding experiences of my life. I love getting to be part of the art, especially since my drawing skills are less-than-even-proficient, and I love watching the students grow and progress in their skill, knowing that I'm part of what facilitated it. 

So, last November, I was talking to one of my artist friends and upon finding out that I was a model, he said, "I have a friend who modeled in Italy for a year and a half, you should talk to her!" And I thought, "Italy? Modeling? SIGN ME UP!!" So I sent his friend, Vanessa, a message, but I never heard back from her. 

Fast forward to the beginning of this April. I was dating Chancy, and he up and decided that he was moving to Panama. Once he bought the ticket, he had the bug of making other people do crazy, awesome things like him, so he asked me what I really wanted, where I would really like to be. I was originally planning to move to California, but now my options were wide open and I knew I had the freedom to do whatever I felt like, gosh dang it! So I mulled it over for a little bit and then it hit me like a brick: ITALY! Duh. I sent Vanessa another message, telling her I was seriously looking at moving to Italy and wanted to know about her experience working as a model there. She called me the next day and we had a blast talking about how amazing Italy is and what a life changing experience it was for her, and would hopefully be for me. She gave me all the information I needed to get in contact with the 3 art academies in Florence, and I was set on the path. 

Fast forward to now. I got an amazing job in Salt Lake City that's paying me enough that I can save up over these 3 months of summer and have enough at the end to cross the pond and have myself an adventure! Needless to say, it's been a whirlwind of a month, but I couldn't be more thankful or more excited about the changes and sacrifices. It's such a gratifying feeling to chase a dream and actually have it within your sights to have it come true. And of course, there is so much more to the story underneath, all the divinely guided moments and encounters that all string together to make the path that led me here. I feel so blessed to be able to see even a few of those experiences as more than coincidence.

What are your deepest desires, the dreams you thought impossible? Really think about it. They might not be as far out of reach as you think....:) Get happening!

For Mother's Day

This is my beautiful mamma:

(and my cousin, and me back when I had long hair haha)

First I just have to say how thankful I am to have a mother. When I meet people my age who have already lost their mothers to one circumstance or another, I am overwhelmed with sadness, both for them and at the thought of ever losing my mother at all. She is my rock, the one I turn to when I need help with almost anything. Just the other day I called her from the grocery store to check that I had all the right ingredients and plans for the dinner I wanted to make, and let's be real, it's way more fun to call your mom than just look things up on the internet, right? It was fun to share that small adult moment, while still being her child and needing a little help. 

My mom is the epitome of softness and home to me. Whenever I think of her, I automatically imagine myself snuggled into her chest, breathing in the smell that is just her, with her hands lightly stroking my back. And just like that, everything in the world is right again, even if it's just for a moment. I always think of her when I'm cooking, wishing I had that special touch that I can only assume comes with having babies. Maybe it's the hormones...or something. Whatever it is, it's only a mom thing. I think of her when I'm out walking, especially in the spring as everything's blooming, because she can tell me the names of almost everything we'd see; I love her passion for nature and the simple beauties of the world. She's the one who taught me to appreciate the little things, from a happy birdsong to the way leaves whisper to each other in the breeze. She taught me to love books, and only the best ones. She showed me how to serve selflessly and with ease. I was infused with a love of art, music, and performance from the time I was tiny, sitting at her feet listening to her sing over the carved body of her guitar. 

The only other thing that adds to how wonderful my mother is, is the way my father loves her. I have seen them grow closer than ever in the last few months as they have taken on a calling in our church that requires them to work very closely and intensely together, and it has been beautiful to watch. But of course, my dad has always been her biggest fan and the first one to brag about how amazing she is. Though it's not perfect, their relationship gives me hope for my own future. 

In sum up, I love you, Marmy. You're my favorite :)

Lessons From the Universe

For the first time in a very long time, I got to sit down and read a book all in one sitting. I woke up this morning, had some breakfast, then promptly got back in bed and read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (which, if you haven't read it, you need to...like, yesterday.) I've read it at least 3 times before, but every time I read it again, it's as if it's for the first time. I've never had another book read that way. Even though I know what's going to happen, somehow it's either been long enough or the story is so complicatedly simple that it's a completely fresh experience. It's a story about pursuing your dreams, following the omens, and learning the Language of the World. Like I said: complicatedly simple.

As I read this time, thoughts and memories came up in my mind, showing me a few lessons the universe has been putting in my path over the last little while. The foremost of those lessons was that dreams are important. As children, each of us has dreams, goals and aspirations that resonate within us, all the way to our souls, and the world looks beautiful and full of possibility and hope. But then, as we grow, the color of the world gets darker and our dreams start to seem impossible, so we often give up. But the moment the choice is made to listen to our inner child, everything in our world conspires together for our good, the dream awakens, and we are set on a path. I've been thinking about making some pretty radical changes in my life, but I've been afraid to fully plunge in, for fear that everything will go wrong or that I am pursuing the wrong path. But then today, everything felt right. It is scary to dive off the cliff and do something completely different than I expected or what has been expected of me, but I realized everything is falling into place to help me get exactly what I want.

The other lesson that has come up a lot lately that I wanted to mention was to immediately listen to impressions from the Spirit. God is always listening and can therefore tell when one person needs something from someone else. I LOVE getting to be that someone else. I also love the moments when I can recognize my innermost needs being met through another person. Sometimes it's a smile, a text, or a conversation with a stranger while waiting for a train. It's all God's love, and we should be anxiously listening for both the chance to give and to receive it.

Final thought from The Alchemist: Everything is written by the same hand. Everything is one. Isn't that a comforting thought?

Off Adventuring

Sorry for the hiatus, it's been a crazy crazy month! April always seems to be the time when everything pours in with the rain (and boy has it been raining.) School is finally over, but leading up to that were a few really fun events. Last post I told you about the Festival of Colors, which was amazing, but what I didn't tell you was that later that night Chancy and I went to the BYU Traditions Ball. Somehow we managed to clean up pretty well:

I scored that gorgeous dress for $20 at DI last summer and I was so excited to finally get a chance to wear it! Chancy was the perfect date for this fancy event, he was classy and a perfect gentleman. The live band was incredible and we wowed everybody there with our smooth blues moves, especially to "Fever." Let me tell you, they were jealous of our mad skills ;) 

A couple weeks later was my good friend Hailey's 21st birthday, which was a smashing success! It was a loosely masquerade-themed party, so I painted my eyes all pretty and wore a feather in my hair and feathers in my ears and we had a blast: 

As you may have gathered from the pictures, Chancy and I have been spending quite a bit of time together in the last few weeks, and we've had a really beautiful time. He and I have been best friends for almost a year now (he and his roommate Aldo have been there for me particularly in the last few months, helping me through being in a long distance relationship and just generally being awesome) and shortly after the Traditions Ball we decided we wanted to be more than just friends ;) Unfortunately, our time together has an expiration date of next Monday because he got an opportunity to work in Panama, where he served his mission, so he's taking it with great enthusiasm. Even though it's been short, I couldn't be more thankful for our time together and all the soul-deepening experiences we've shared. He has been there for me in a time when I was vulnerable and needing a lot of healing and love, and he knew just what to do. 

And finally, my summer plans have shifted from moving to California to staying here in Utah for just a few more months. There's a really exciting reason as to why, but I can't tell you just yet....so stay tuned!! Much love :)

All Things Spring

I woke up to my favorite sound this morning: rain against my window. Nothing says SPRING! like a gorgeous, soft rain shower. The whole weekend was beautifully sunny and I got my first inklings of a sunburn on my nose and cheeks, which made me sooo giddy with thoughts of more sun to come!

And instead of dying eggs for Easter this year, I dyed myself! This Saturday, all my closest friends (except poor Meg, who was stuck in bed with a migraine) got together for the Holi Festival of Colors at the Hindu temple down in Spanish Fork. It's an annual Hindu celebration of life and joy and freedom that is attended by about 20 Hindus and about 2 million Mormons haha....but seriously. So we went and got ourselves covered with chalk and had ourselves a blast. Here's some evidence:

Before.....

After....

Team Purple Hand!

A view of the temple

Taken from here:

Happy Spring!!

An Easter Update

Well folks, it appears that all the uncomfortableness of last week was leading up to a profound learning experience: being single again. Things hadn't been quite the same between Abram and I in the 3 weeks since seeing each other, so it wasn't completely unexpected, but of course it was painful and not what I wanted.

So, it has now been a week, and I just have to say that I am incredibly blessed. I had so much immediate support in any way that I needed it, which was an amazing show of just how many close friends I have and how much they care about me. I feel so lucky to have also been blessed with the gift of perspective, even on the day it happened. There is, of course, still sadness and hurt, but more than anything I feel empowered and hopeful for the next beautiful thing that is waiting for me, and I am full of gratitude for my relationship with Abram, which was perfect for what it was and completely changed my life for the better. 

It's so fitting that today is Easter in all the gratitude I am feeling and I'm glad I have an excuse to be publicly vocal about it. I have spent a lot of time on my knees in the last week, and there is no question that there was someone listening, giving me answers and peace. I know that there are many unseen forces working together in my life for good, and that every day is one more step on a path that He already sees and is just as excited as I am to be there with me through all the growing and beauty to come.